Contained herewith is a lesson on why you should never let me go box shopping alone.
Let me set the scene.
It's a rainy Monday, the windscreen wipers squelch as traffic builds, all the while I am thinking "surely not all these people are heading to U-Haul to buy boxes."
I was right -- mid-morning traffic in North Van was torture, not water boarding but there was water involved, slippery roads tight curves, an unfamiliar car (Note: Ian and Jordan, I didn't do anything crazy in your car I was simply adding drama to a somewhat boring story) and a delightful discussion on CBC Radio with Irish writer Will Ferguson on hiking the Ulster Way.
The hastily printed Google Map was unusually accurate and I pulled into U-Haul drove around the car park realising it wasn't the car park but in fact where all the rental trucks were parked and headed back onto the road to find another car park, which I did quite smartly.
To the surprise of the staff I burst through the doors and headed for the boxes and suffered from a case of Goldilocks Syndrome. The first box was too small, the second box, way too big but the third box, it was perfect, or so it seemed.
I had all the dimensions in my mind, the maximum allowable by Canada Post was two linear metres so when I saw that box I was giddy which of course is all part of their advertising plan. Swinging gently in eyesight was the sign -- buy 10 boxes and save. Now I am all for bargains and this was one. I saved $5 by buying 10 boxes so I only paid $45 (plus tax). With 10 metres of bubble wrap, packing tape and fragile stickers in tow I headed home triumphant at a successful day out.
I slapped them on my back and lugged them up the stairs sitting them proudly in the lounge room. Em returned home from work and cocksure like a Bower bird, I strutted around flapping my arms espousing the grandness of my purchase.
My beautiful wife took one look, shook her head.
"They are big," she started.
"Yes but think of all the things we can fit in them," I replied.
"But they are really big. I mean really big in fact they are probably too big."
And she was right. I trial packed one today and it was nightmarish although we will need one for shipping our large items, Kitchenaid, speakers et al.
Now I am I am not going to put this down to a hardwired male brain thing but my own inability to see a larger picture.
I was brought up in the "less boxes are better" school of thought and as fine as that sounds when you have a trailer or a truck to move them, along with a trolley, a few of your mates and some beer, but when you are mailing them to one of the world's outposts, actually to your wife's office because you don't have anywhere to live nor a car to transport them when you get there, it is probably best to scrap that "bigger is better" school of thought for something more, let's say, conservative.
Just because the dimensions say two linear metres doesn't mean you have to get boxes that just sneak under. And the weight limit, 30kg. It's not much to lift if it was in a smaller box but when you can barely wrap your arms around these ones, well you have to admit defeat.
I still gave myself a pat on the back for trying and although it wasn't so much a job well done, we have learnt a valuable lesson. I am much like Jack and the Beanstalk, send me on a mission to buy boxes and you'll never know what you'll end up with.
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