Tylenol 1, Tylenol 2, Tylenol 3, ready or not here I ....... zzzzzzzzz -- Departure T-Minus 26 days

"Can you call Air Canada and make sure the cat is checked in," Em said to me last night, at 10.15pm, on a Friday. March 12. Our flight isn't until April 7.

"Sure but how about I wait until the morning," I replied.

"But what if there's not enough room? Don't forget you have to measure him. How long do you think our cat is? I'd say a couple of metres at least."

At this juncture I must point out that Em had four wisdom teeth ruthlessly ripped from her jaw today by a man that all together seemed too nice to be a dentist. Accent unknown, he was delightful in his appraisal of his success and the means to which I must hold Em on our departure from the clinic.

"She may think she can walk," he said, "but she can't. Hold her tight, don't let her go."

Never in any fear of that, we headed home and through traits learned osmotically via my nurse mother, I proceeded to institute a hard-nosed drug regime which has led us up to this point whereby we now have a two metre long cat, which in all honesty isn't far from the truth.

Act I
Fur ball Logic
(Full-time score: Sir Richard 1 Juris 0)

Only the day before I bought a hard case travel hutch and thanks to the genius of our friend Ian, I finally worked out how to weigh the ever-flighty Sir Richard (he's 8kg but don't mention it to him, he's kind of sensitive but on the sumo side, you know, that he's not big enough).

After having tried to sit him on the Ikea-scales and after unsuccessfully trying to jam him into a cat carrier cage, which I had already devised the tare weight of, I gave up and weighted for Em.

Thankfully Ian suggested I simply weigh myself then pick up the cat and weigh him in my arms. Presto, 8 kilos.

Act II
CSI Newfoundland
(Stats Amazing)

If you read my last post you will no doubt be aware that I love facts and the only thing I love more than facts is my wife ... and stats ... in that order (hey, it's sappy but true).

Mark Twain allegedly said at some point that "facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable" but I would love to trace down just what Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devil's Dictionary, would have said.

I imagine a statisticians job description as written by Bierce would read:

Statistician: a folly for those too wise to become bankers and not foolish enough to become gamblers.

The reason I bring this up is I came across Statistics Canada Census results for Newfoundland which dispelled many myths I had about our new home.

If you can bear with me for a few moments I will don my Sherlock Holmes hat and using some deductive reasoning give you a profile of Newfoundland based on what I found.

Okay deep breath ... and .... go:

Newfoundland's (NL) population dropped 7% since 1996 from 551,792 to 512,930 and of that population the most common age range is the 25-44 year old with 151,770 of which the clear majority is female with 78,795 women.

The third highest age range behind those 45-54 (82,975) is kids aged between 5-14 (63,950).

Now:

Of the population who are over 15, that is 424,165, the bulk of them are married (235,015) while there are more widows (28,700) than divorcees (20,305).

Of the widows however, 23,320 of those are women compared to 5475 who are men.

Also:

Only 2015 people immigrated to Newfoundland between 1991 and 2001 while 499,090 of the 508,075 people are Canad........hang on....discrepancy and a big one.

If the total population stated earlier was 512,930 yet they use the figure 508,075 to describe the "immigration characteristics", what in the blue blazers happened to the other 4855 people?

Anyway back to the profile:

There are more Protestants (303,195) than Catholics (187,445), more Buddhists (180) than Jews (140), more Muslims (625) than Hindu (130).

The school kids are getting smarter by the generation although university educated students are outstripped by those with trades. Women are on average paid less ($18,341) than men ($29,267) however that gap narrows when you compare the two when working full time over an entire year.

Women on average rake in $29,935 compared to men who earn $44,607 yet the median family income for couples is $45,253.

More people work at "no fixed address" (15,865) than those who work from home (11,570) and there is more people in "other services" when it comes to describing their industry than any other category (51,055). The next closest is health and education (45,320).

There are more owned dwellings (147,750) than rented (41,170) and there are more dwelling built before 1991 (162,200) than after (26,840) and the average cost of a dwelling is $76,283.

So there you have it and what have you learnt from today's lesson? Well it's simple.

People are moving away from an island that has a cracking education system filled with happily married families who can afford cheap houses and who have low cost of living. While the wages are low the chance of owning your own house is extremely high.

I am tad concerned about all the female widows though -- at a ratio almost five to one, I hope that their husbands had high risk jobs like whale wrestling, moose wrangling or polar bear shaving.

I'm also trying to comprehend where the 4855 people went unless of course they are not from this earth (you say aliens I say potentially friendly overlords).

Maybe Mark Twain was right.